Then I thought to myself, "She quit so what do we have to lose?" In thinking further I also remembered that she never bought me a single beer, so fuck it. Since I like a good puzzle I thought I would put on my Sherlock Cap and sleuth out the info before City Paper decided to turn it into another shitty cover story with a lame pun inspired headline. "Cyberspaced! We ID The Anonymous Blogger"
I knew the first thing that I had to do was to go through her entire archive of posts and to pick apart every detail on her personal life that I could find. Unfortunately, she took down every post on the site... so I have to go with what the genius "legit" press is saying about her. Reading every article that I could find, I managed to dig up some key facts. 1 - Pittgirl is a she. 2 - Pittgirl hates pidgeons. 3 - Pittgirl loves Pittsburgh. 4 - Pittgirl wrote blogs about stuff and then quit. 5 - Pittgirl had a more fans than Bubba's Shitty Morning Show on B94 (tm). Really, who the fuck listens to that moron?
Ok - Let's stick with facts 1. Pittgirl is a female. Being female I can deduce that her name is unlikely to be Bruce, Timmy or Arthur. Applying some higher thinking than most men, and applying Occam's Razor, I have come to the conclusion that her first name is Rachel. Why Rachel you may ask? Because Friend's was a really popular show and most chicks I know want to be, if they had a choice of the 3 females on that show, Rachel.
Now I need to worry about the last name... Pittgirl lives in Pittsburgh. That rules out nice sounding last names like McDermot, Jeremy and Obama. No, if she's a true Pittsburgher her last name has to be something fucked up like Wizenjowski. In fact, after a solid 5 minutes of medatation and consulting my Magic 8 Ball - I'm positive her last name really is Wizenjowski.
Rachel Ray Wizenjowski.
I don't need any more of the facts now do I?
What I do need, however, is a picture!
Thank you google image search. One quick search, letting google correct my spelling, and scolling down 1/2 a page, I found the face of Pittgirl!!!
Not the pretties girl, I admit, but what did you expect of a nerd girl yinzer? Cummon, look at that face! Can't you see it grinning evilly as it directs a foot towards a pidgeon? I can. It's pretty fucking scary actually.
Ok, seriously, I mostly wrote this blog to fuck with the idiots out there who are actually going to search for info that they now lknow is out there. With any luck I just entertained a few friends and fucked with a bunch of retards that needed fucking with. You shitmules should be ashamed of yourselves.
