Monday, January 26, 2009

Mythbust This...

Dear Jamie & Adam,

I have noticed that, in the past two seasons of Mythbusters, that you haven't really busted any myths.

Let's be fair here, your James Bond specials were entertaining, but what you recreated at your M5 Studio wasn't really a myth, was it? I mean nobody seriously believed that most of the gadgets that Bond used were real. What's next? Are you going to bust Star Wars and tell us that lightsabers don't exist or that there is no way that two swinging logs could crush the head of a ATST.

There have been a few episodes where you have built a gadget to see if it would really work, but that's not really a myth now is it? Like those anti-gravity devices - even the one that worked was clearly documented as an air-pusher years before you put it near the gravity field detector. Or the water stun gun? It wasn't a myth, it's a gadget that someone once tried to get working. You didn't really get it working either. Not a myth, sorry.

Nor is it a myth when you find an internet video and prove it real or fake. You once did an entire show on the Mentos/Coke thing and yet any kid with $2.00 and a nearby grocery store could have told you that it wasn't a myth. Fine, you spun it to look like you were trying to show which chemicals were responsible for the reaction, but really, that's better suited for an episode of Good Eats than an episode of Mythbusters.

So fine, we have established that you aren't really busting myths anymore...

How about you do something interesting?

  • Bigfoot! How about you settle this shit once and for all. Fake everything like you did with the moon landing special and then show us how easy or hard it would be to make up all of that evidence. Make comparisons between footprints from various periods and places and see if they are even close to being the same. Go out there and really nail this damn thing. Maybe blow up a Bigfoot suit at the end of the episode.
  • Shamwow, let's test this bastard out. What's it made of? Sheepskin like a chamois? Synthetic fiber or Bigfoot fur? Does it really suck orange soda through carpeting and what applications would it have in the porno industry? Maybe get Kari involved in this during ratings sweeps week.
  • UFO's of course need looked at. Find some of those bastards who say that they have been abducted like, Whitley Streiber, and hook them up to a lie detector. Maybe follow him around for a year so that when he writes, in his next book, about being abducted on July 15th, you can show the world your spycam footage of him bullshitting with his wife about how he's going to fake a good story for that night. Maybe put some lights up in the sky to see how many people say it's a UFO, and show people how easy it is to fake a UFO with, pretty much, anything that is round and throwable.
  • Paris Hilton. Just why the fuck is she famous anyway? I don't know how you would test this but blowing her up at the end of the episode would be fucking brilliant!
  • Mythbusters! How about you expose some of the myths of the show itself. Like those scenes where you try something out in the field, then go back to M5, and then go back out in the field with something new - everyone is dressed the same. How about, on a show where you talk about the truth, you don't let your editors fuck with the timeline of how your week went? If Grant had his golfing machine out on the same day that they all drove balls manually- say so. Also those crappy little scripts that you invariably make Torri read are unnecessary. Having him explain physics to us, as if he just thought that shit up himself, is an insult to our intelligence. Why not just use the announcer the way he was intended to be used?
  • Comcast/FIOS/Direct TV. The American people really need you to answer this debate once and for all. Who really does have the most HD channels? How much does Comcast degrade their HD signal? Who has the most channels? Who has the best price? The winner gets to air parts of your episode as their commerical.
  • General Tso - Where the hell do these people who own Chinese restaurants get trained to cook like that. The dishes that they cook up are NOT in any way related to what they would be cooking in China. Is there some big school for Chinese Restaurant Cooking where they can teach me how to count out exactly 5 shrimp per Triple Delight?
  • The Ghost Hunters - Wouldn't that just be the awesomeness? Adam and Jamie could go out and prove that The Ghost Hunters are full of shit. Maybe sit down and ask them, "If people see ghosts all of the time, why do you only film at night with the lights out? Is it because the loss of definition of a nightvision camera helps you make shit up?"


  1. this post is great. I NEED to know what the hell is up with the shamwow. I am pretty obsessed with as seen on tv sheet. I agree they haven't busted myths lately. Those scripts that tori reads are terrible. Stop over producing the show. The people at m5 are interesting enough that you don't have to give them stupid lines to say.
    they should start drinking some Snapple and just do some of those myths.
    I don't know if you watch survivor man but he is selling out. He brought a fishing pole with him last time. WTF happened to mgyvering the shit out of the stuff you find.

  2. I think Less is awesome, and I don't see him really cheating too much on Survivorman. The whole point has always been to simulate what it would be like to be stranded somewhere... and to have a reason for that stranding. So him having the fishing pole with him was not really any different than that time he had a broken motorbike with him in the desert. I really liked when he actually had a whole other person with him in one of the last episodes.

    Sadly Surviorman is no more. Less has decided to cancel the series because it's really hard on his body and because, I feel, he really has done it all. One desert looks a lot like any other and how many times can he tell us about eating snow? I'm sure he's going to be on a good number of other shows, but Survivorman is no more.


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